To my upstairs neighbor

I'm pretty sure you need a special permit from the city if you are going to be raising a herd of baby elephants.

I need my pills

Use your blinker, dipshit. C'mon! This is society.

Sorry you're an asshole

It's not my fault you thought I was turning into your lane. You thought wrong. You can shove your middle finger and palpable anger right up your butthole. While I masterly parallel park, because I am a perfect vehicle operator.

Get it together

It's a right turn, not a fucking stop sign.

Snark, the opiate of awesome

Hey, I'm snarky. It's science. Like, "Hi. We're science, you're welcome!" Yeah.