Hah!

Nice waste of gas beating me to the red light and all

Upstairs neighbor AGAIN

Marissa is it? You fucking heinous cow. You have no idea how much I would pity you if it weren't outweighed by my visceral hate. You should go to great lengths to hide your pathetic life. I know you only leave to get more food in order to maintain your elephantic ass. No matter what time of day it is you're there. Your TV is blaring and those tree trunks you call legs are threating to bust through our ceiling. Really? You're just going to give up like that? Not even try to hide the fact that you're morbidly obese? Because I would be doing everything in my power not draw attention to it. Instead, each step you take is like a public address: I'M OH-BESE, I'M OH-BESE. That yelling you hear from downstairs? That's us warning each other you might crash through any second. You are a joke, a sad, retarded, TV guzzling sack of unloveable fat. You will never have a reason to leave because you have no life. Oh yeah, and we can hear you snore. God you are useless.

To my upstairs neighbor

I'm pretty sure you need a special permit from the city if you are going to be raising a herd of baby elephants.

I need my pills

Use your blinker, dipshit. C'mon! This is society.

Sorry you're an asshole

It's not my fault you thought I was turning into your lane. You thought wrong. You can shove your middle finger and palpable anger right up your butthole. While I masterly parallel park, because I am a perfect vehicle operator.

Get it together

It's a right turn, not a fucking stop sign.

Snark, the opiate of awesome

Hey, I'm snarky. It's science. Like, "Hi. We're science, you're welcome!" Yeah.